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25 May 2014

Mama Robin

As I lay on my backyard swing dreaming the day away a hidden nest drew my attention.  A robin.  A lady robin.  A mama robin feeding her babies with worms galore.  A working mama.  

Quite often have I listen to the robins outside my bedroom windows early in the morning. Most times annoyed by the banter  and the noise.  Annoyed as I watch them forage in my garden. 

She's a working mom.  She is providing for her family.  She is doing the best she can with the limitations the world provides.  And yet I assume.  I judge.  

How often we judge those around us.  As women it seems so easy for us to look at another woman and easily find faults -- clothing, size, kids who appear to be badly behaved, station in life, type of job, lack of job, homeschooler, nonhomeschooler -- this list could go on and on....

But we don't stop there.  We then judge ourselves by the same criteria.  Sometimes for the better and sometimes worse.  "Wow if I looked like that I wouldn't wear that outfit" or "she should not be wearing that.  (aka -- Woah - she looks rough in that outfit)  folllowed by "her stomach is smaller than mine.  Our thighs are about the same size...." Thus putting down their body and our own.  

I'm guilty of it.  More now than ever.  After 3 rounds of higher dose steroids and a 40 pound weight gain  (on a < 5 ft tall body) -- it is increasingly difficult to not judge myself in comparison to others.  

-If I worked out more like her.
-If I ate super healthy all the time like her.
-If I ran marathons like her.

Ladies --- Why do we do this? 

I was asked recently if my being single affects my self esteem in a negative way.  Ironically, it is my fellow women who assist in lowering the self esteem of others. We tend to tear each other down (to their face or behind their back)  when we should be building each other up.  

The irony is that the smaller, smarter, prettier, tanner, thinner women have the same thoughts as the taller, less brilliant, cute, less tan, thicker women.  SO why do we bother? Work to change what you can change, love what you can't, and determine that you  are the best YOU there is in this world. 

I may not be able to run right now.  I may be gaining weight despite eating mostly healthy and getting my butt beat by Jillian DVDs 5 days a week.  I may live down the road from the beach and not be able to find a bathingsuit that fits.  But I am tired of being sad, angry, or embarrassed by it.  I could be smarter, skinnier, richer, or prettier -- But Y'all --- when I am I will still be the best me that exists in this world --- and that's true now --- 

Therefore - I choose to enjoy life, appreciate what I have, and help others as much as I can. 

Care to join this journey? 

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