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01 March 2014

Gender Roles anyone?

Sooooo --- The thought and process of getting back into the world of dating is a challenge for me.  People always talk about how God challenges you to live beyond your comfort zone.  Getting to know people that I have never met before is way out of my C-zone.  Seriously.  I am an introvert to the core.  

At the children's ministry training last weekend the lead lady was speaking.  She is a 5th grade teacher in real life and you can guess it by her demeanor.  She is the classic example of the higher elementary teachers we all remember from our days in school.  Something she said really struck a chord with me and I was happy to know someone else felt the same --- (when discussing parent teacher conferences) She discussed how it is the worst day of her life --- each year when it rolls around. She can talk to their kids, play with their kids, and teach their kids all day -- but with adults she is tongue tied and awkward. All I could say was a very enthusiastic "DITTO!!" Give me your kids all day long and I will be fine, let me educate you and I will be fine.  Have a personal conversation with me and watch how awkward I become.

Getting the drift on why dating is certainly outside of the C-zone?

Anyway -- I spent my morning helping with a ballet class for kiddos with Down Syndrome.  It is full of laughter and smiles as these kids try their best to do each of the dance moves with grace and elegance.  The parents watch on as volunteers assist with positioning of feet, hands, and balance.   I know NOTHING of ballet and so I am learning as I go and assisting my little kiddo as much as possible.  Today she was all smiles and laughter as we stumbled through the process together.  One of my favorite things about the class is the diversity -- in both dancers and volunteers --- a wide range of ages, multiple ethnicities, and girls and boys.  It was great to see some male volunteers today in addition to our dedicated teacher. It made me ponder a question I am often asked by guys when looking for a possible relationship -- 

And I quote --- "What is your view on tranditional gender roles?"

I hate that question.  While it is open ended a simple response is expected.  "I approve or I do not approve."  What if we fit somewhere in between?  Do I believe that God meant for the husband to be the head of the household?  Yes - But does that mean he has ultimate control and can do as he pleases? No.  Do I believe women should stay in the home to cook, clean, birth babies, and homeschool? Not necessarily.  And before people get up in arms about that response please allow me to elaborate.  I have many friends who are SAHMs and are amazing in that role.  I just don't believe that that was God's intention for all women.  I was made for my job.  I love what I do.  I would love to have kids one day but for my own sanity and the sanity of my children I need to continue with my work.  I would love to be able to greet them at the bus stop most days and fix afternoon snacks for us all --- but I have no desire to homeschool and I think my children will be better off because of it :)

As for the husband being the head of the household -- It is as my friend described me --- I appreciate chilvary but do not wish to be controlled or limited due to the simple fact that God made me female. 
My parents were a great example of a Godly marriage.  While my dad had the final say in a decision my mom's opinion (and the kids' when appropriate) were heard and taken into consideration.  That to me is respect --- and I would like a huge serving of that in any relationship in which I am a part. 



I am currently reading Ms.Understood (rebuilding the feminine equation) by Jen Hatmaker and the next in the book stack is Jesus Feminist (an invitation to revisit the Bible's view of women) by Sarah Bessey. I am interested to see what the Bible truly says about the roles and importance of women. I'll let you know what I find out :)

What are your thoughts on traditional gender roles?  Don't be shy --- please share!

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