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27 October 2012

This Year in Review with a Little Contemplation

The view from the edge of  the hill above my house.
 Keep going down this road and you get to Ball Square with super tasty food and art/craftiness from local artists
 (mine is there when I have time to make it)

It's obviously been hit or miss for me to post to the blog.  I had such great intentions but my days are a bit wacky.  So many days that I feel like I have really accomplished something if I have on matching shoes and socks and remember to eat at least once.  

The year so far has been a bit of a whirlwind - but let's be honest.  The last 3 or 4 years have been a whirlwind.  I've had grad school full time, full time clinical, lots of new babies in the family, and now Internship and studying for Boards.  

I'm currently doing my Internship at Boston Children's Hospital on the inpatient neuro team.   My kids have diagnoses including:  post surgical (Arnold Chiari malformations, AVM resections,  Moya Moya, brain tumors, etc....), developmental delays, seizure disorders, MS, Cystic Fibrosis (CF), and Cancer (lots of cancer)... The PT department at BCH is a bit rare in its focus of chest PT (percussion and vibration using postural drainage positions, etc...) and so we get a lot of children (and some adults who have been going to BCH since they were kids) with Cystic Fibrosis for pulmonary cleanouts.  That means chest PT 2-3x/day plus lots of IV antibiotics and some kids also use a airway clearance vest (that vibrates them) to help reduce and clear out "gunk" in their lungs.  My first week or so I thought my arms were going to die.  In fact there were many days that I attempted to add to the blog and typing was not possible secondary to the pain in my forearm muscles.  Even in those days I loved it.  Now I still love it! Who knows... maybe it will make my triceps less "flappy" :).  I do miss the arms I had as a drum major.

When I'm not in class I am typically attempting to study for the Boards.  I have to take the NPTE in January and deep breathing techniques and good music are helping me not panic.  I typically try to put in 1.5-2hrs/day and then 12 hrs during the weekend.  This week has been crazy because of construction in my apt. The guys have been replacing my beautiful old windows with the amazing molding and wavy glass for cheap, plain, and boring (but more efficient) windows this week.  And so each night was spent trying to undo their big mistakes (like putty and paint on my handmade shelves) and rearranging for their work the next day.  Today I'm trying to at least get a good start on the 2 inches of sheet rock dust that covers EVERYTHING.  I can't concentrate with it like this.  I have to at least get my living room better and my kitchen cleaned up.  I have been living on cafeteria food all week.  
Since I last posted I have gained a new cousin through marriage (Abigail Todd) and TWO new healthy nephews (Gideon David and Elijah Liam).  I was able to spend some time at home before internship.  During that time I was able to spend some time with the lovely young lady who is now my cousin's wife, a friend who will no longer be in NC when I visit, and my pregnant sister and her lovely family.  I have often heard people say how it gets harder to leave each time you visit home.  I used to think it was the opposite.  Don't get me wrong -- there are ALWAYS tears -- be careful if you ever volunteer to drive me to the airport.  But this time with so many changes going on with friends and family I am dreaming of a day when I am not so far from home with no time to go home.
Poor Laurie got to spend her one time with me  one hour after I  arrived in NC after 3 days with absolutely zero sleep.
  I'm amazed I stayed awake.  Poor Girl.  I was so tired she even beat me at Skip-Bo!!

Glad the super red tear filled eyes didn't show up in the pic.
I miss this lady.
One of my friends from BSU in college is now posting her story on her blog.  I find myself eager to read it each day because the truths she speaks in type are often words echoed in my heart.  I would like to put my story in type.  The goal is just to put it out there.  It's not pretty... It's not easy... Many other people have had much more challenging lives... but it is what has formed me into the person I now am... for better or worse.  Some things I remember with great clarity and some things are shoved so deeply into the back of my mind that they only surface on the late nights in a quiet apartment with Lucy snoring beside me.   Those memories that have sounds and smells to accompany them --- I'd like to share --- and if you happen to read these -- and you remember other things during those times --- chime in....

Our school is big on self reflection.  I think I often reflect too much.  But now as I'm preparing for my future and the end of this journey (school) there is a lot of reflection on who I am, how I got here, who I want to be, where to go, and how to get there...

Feel free to join the journey....

2 comments: said...

Do it! Reflect and cry and journal and reflect some more. If you haven't read 1000 gifts by Ann Voskamp, you should. She was a cutter and suffered from agoraphobia and depression for most of her life. Her book is helping to change my perspective on God's goodness. I'm praying for you as ponder taking the plunge.

CHRISTA said...

Thanks Lori! I'll have to check out that book. I'm taking the plunge - although mine might be a bit slower. There are days when it's not possible for me to post. Thanks for the support!