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29 April 2009

...One a time....

"As for accomplishments, I just did what I had to do as things came along." -Eleanor Roosevelt

I originally posted this quote last year.
Please read the original entry here:

Today this quote has a different meaning to me. Over the last couple of weeks all of the plans made over the last three years were shattered. With that being the case the last week and a half have looked like this:

~7:15am - Wake up (if ever went to sleep)
7:45am- Cup of hot tea
8:00am- Begin phone calls (lenders, banks, collection agencies, credit bureaus......)
~2:00pm- Take a break for pb crackers with or without marshmallows...
2:15pm- Back to the phone.....
3:45pm- Stop phone calls.....Jump in shower
4:00pm- Leave for work
......Work, come home, go to bed......

In between each phone call is the falling of tears (if I can hold it until I get off of the phone). The phone calls are filled with rejections, disappointments, and people who couldn't care less. I've been screamed at, cussed at, called trash, and told that I deserve what I get.

Let me explain here that the debt on my credit is from MEDICAL bills. I did NOT buy a flat screen TV, a fancy car, a house I can't afford, or name brand clothes... I was involved in a car accident three years ago. A college kid came around the curve cutting it and hit me head on doing about 45mph. He walked away with no problems and I couldn't move the next day and it became progressively worse. The next months included visits to the ER, orthopedic surgeons, physical therapists, chiropractors, and a neurosurgeon. Hours and months of therapy, tons of x-rays, MRIs, CT scans, and injections into my spine and hips. THESE are the bills that are there... a consequence of his choice and my inability to afford a private insurance plan.

The sobs rack through my body at night as I wake up from dreams of my apartment, classes, classmates, cadavers, and Boston....

I don't tell you this so you feel sorry for me. I tell you this to be be be vulnerable... and to show you how different my life has become over the last week and a half.
Eleanor said "I did what I had to do as things come along." I have looked at this quote a lot over the last week. A reminder that the only thing I can do is take it step by step. Each phone call holds possibility of school.

Whatever you are facing...take it one step at a time.... and remember you are NOT alone...

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