Last Week....

It's my last week of clinic!!!!!!  I can't believe it.  I'm excited to be able to go home for a vacation but heartbroken that clinic is ending.  I wake up at 445 every morning excited to be heading to clinic.  That says a lot since I am and always have been a night owl who struggles to get up each morning.  


I have four days....containing initial evals, re-evals, therapeutic exercises, modalities, and sooooo much more.  Then it's on to the bus at 7:30 Friday night .... to arrive home at 9:30.... to stay up all night and pack, clean, and prep..... to get up at 4am .... to leave at 5am for the airport... to get on my flight at 7am.... to head home.... WooHoo!!!!!!


A chatty car ride with one of the most lovely people I know.... a day with my Daddy.... and then a road trip to see the small cuddly... lovable.... baby smelling... nephew :)

Night Time....

....is the hardest time......
(atleast for me --- I don't know if it's that way for others)... but night is when the ache creeps in.

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It's when I realize that I'm thirty one.  I'm not married. No children.  No prospects.  A third of a doctorate degree. A crazy crack baby of a cat. An apartment that looks crazy.  Have medical bills that make me cry.  Acquaintences here in Boston but no --- "call in the middle of the night" friends.

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Each day I go to clinic -- and I enjoy it -- Don't get me wrong.  It's not easy... not by any means.  But there I have a purpose.  There my patients that trust me to know and do what's best for them.  It's terrifying but GREAT when I get things right and they get better.  

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I get asked often two different questions.  1) How did you end up in Boston?  2) Will you go back to NC when you graduate?   I give my usual answers --- 1) I did NYLF (National Youth Leadership Forum on medicine)  in high school and came to Boston and loved it... love the city...  and MGH Institute of Health Professions is a highly ranked program.   2) Eventually I'll go back South.  Not because it's where I come from but because it's a part of me.  But then that brings you back to my dreams...

   I want a husband -- (my parents are celebrating their anniversary next week --- 40 years!!!! -- I want a marriage like theirs.  They've been through a lot.  Life has not been easy.  They never fought in front of us --- they "debated" behind closed doors. We were always loved and supported.  We had family dinner and talked about our days.  There were always extra place settings for the friends that Amy and I constantly brought home.  We always had a shoulder to cry on or someone to listen when we yelled at the world for being unfair.  We didn't have a lot of money but we had all that we had all that we ever needed and so much more.  I used to get frustrated that my friends always wanted to come to my house instead of us going to theirs.  But I understand.  This is what I want.  I want kids and to dream of grandchildren in the future.  I want a yard for them to play in and a garden in the back/side yard.  I want family nearby.  I want them to love Wilmington like I do and enjoy watching the leaves in the mountains from Aunt Amy and Uncle David's house.  

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I don't regret being here --- I don't regret being in this program or learning all that I'm learning.  I just didn't fully comprehend what I would be giving up.  I'm thirty one --- not twenty-two.... and on nights like this one --- it all sinks in ---  what I've given up -- where I am --- and what may be....

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At night.... I once again become the young girl dreaming of a house full of family.... packing lunches and sending her kids off to school.

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I don't regret my decision -- How could I ever tell my kids they can be anything they want to be and to reach for their dreams --- If I didn't go for mine?  I couldn't.  And so --- Here I am in Boston --- my family is all down South --- My friends all have boyfriends, husbands, wives, houses, and children.... my sister is having a baby.....  and I'm here.

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    So for now ---- I'm going to go dream of little kids with my blue eyes and tiny feet wobbling and running in the yard with the dog and a dad playing with them...


   May all your dreams come true......

2 Down 8 to GOoooooOooooooOooooo....

  It's been an interesting two weeks.  Clinic is FuN, neRVe raCKing, eXCiting, chaLLenging, and teRRFYing... all at the same time.  My CI is really good.  He has a very hands on approach to learning which fits in with my being a tactile learner.  Some days I feel like I'm swimming and some days I feel like I'm doggy paddling to try and stay afloat....


   What do I do?

• take patients through their exercises
• look for compensations
• progress exercises and treatment if I find patients are able
• re-evaluations
• soft tissue massage
• deep friction massage
• suboccipital releases
• electrical stimulation (E-stim)
• ultrasound
• iontophoresis
• change pillow cases
• apply ice packs --- and ice packs--- and more icepacks
• apply moist heat packs -- and more MHPs--- and more MHPs... get the picture? :)
• inital evaluations
• plan of care (POC)
• write SOAP notes
• write up Evals
• write up Evals
• fax to docs
• fax to insurance companies

As challenging and terrifying as it is --- it is confirming my love for this field.  That being said -- I need to go finish POCs and progressions for some of my Tuesday patients.... 

Good Night...

Tomorrow... Tomorrow....

I begin my full time clinical tomorrow ------ Aggghh!!!  Say a prayer--Please.


I passed my finals for the summer minimester --- and jumped on a plane home that same day.  The youngest of my two boys graduated from High School the next day and so I needed to be home.  I celebrated with him and the family on Thursday.  Friday morning I drove to Boone in the mountains of NC to help my sister with a day of prepping food for the freezer.  She will be giving birth to my nephew in a couple of months and now she has some meals that will take very little time to fix.  Saturday was the Farmer's Market, organizing baby clothes.... and then home to my parents' house to help repair a lawnmower, dig old textbooks out of storage, go grocery shopping, do laundry, prep dinner, and begin to pack.  Sunday (yesterday) I unfortunately had to board a plane to come back to Boston.  Flight left at 4pm -- I walked in my apt door around 11pm and promptly went to bed.

Tomorrow I begin clinical.....
I'll be at Baystate PT in Quincy, MA forty-four hours a week for the next ten weeks.  Hopefully improving on the skills I possess and learning new ones.  A bit terrified going in because last semester my placement was a clinic for patients with chronic back pain.  I practiced NONE of my skills and we were forced to put each patient through the exact same circuit.  Even if there were things we noticed were wrong and fixable.  I'm ready to get in a clinic that has a more hands on and personal approach.  This one is that way and my CI (clinical instructor) also sometimes does pedi (treats children).  WooHoo!!!!


Wish me Luck!
I would love to be on the Maine coast where this picture was taken ;)

Exams, Showers, Teaching, Learning, Rain, and.....

     Woohoo!!!  I passed my exams --- well --- did better than just pass......  I took a 10 day trip to North Carolina and now am getting ready to finish up a May Minimester....


     SO I caught up on all of my classes - took my midterms and did well.  Continued with all of my classes and learned a lot!  In a couple of weeks I'll be heading out to a clinic in Quincy, MA to spend forty hour weeks treating patients, learning new techniques, and improving on my current skills.  Can you tell I'm excited?  (and very nervous)


     But first --- I spent about 10 days at home throwing a party for the boys (my soon to be born nephew's baby shower and my dad's 60th birthday party).  It was a lot of work -- and fun!  I'm glad that I have a great group of friends and family I can depend on for help because planning a shower during exams and flying into the state the day before the party didn't lend itself to easy planning.  The party was a success.  Everyone seemed to have a good time -- I got to see lots of smiles from my dad and hear his bubbling laughter.  My nephew now has a lot of pretty things for his nursery, a diaper bag, some slings to be nice and cozy at his Mama's chest or side, and LOTS of books.  But let's be honest --- you can never have too many books --- and so it will be my eternal gift to my nephew --- lots of books :)  I spent some time with friends and family.  I was able to make a big ol' bowl of potato salad with my Grandmother and made paper chains with Christy.  Spent some time on the side of the interstate capturing the gorgeous wildflowers.  Had a great dinner with some of my most favorite people.  and.....After Mother's day brunch at Cracker Barrel with Mama and Amy it was once again time to board a plane.  


    And then began the May Minimester ---- a three week intensive course on teaching, learning, and therapeutic exercise.  The end of it will be Wednesday when I take a one hour practical exam proving that I have learned something. :)


    Originally my schedule included a long trip home before I start my full time clinic.  But seeing as how I was originally told it would begin on June 20th and have since found out that it will begin on May 31st..... It's not going to happen.  So the hope is that I will be able to be home for a longer trip at the beginning of August that will allow me lots of time to love on my brand new nephew, family, and friends..... and receive lots of hugs in return.


    What do I miss while I'm in Boston?  Hugs --- Lance pb on cheese crackers --- Food Lion cheese danishes --- grilled chicken --- homemade icecream --- Hugs --- my family --- Cook Out Milkshakes -- Did I mention hugs?


      I spent a lot of time just sitting outside in the sun talking with a friend yesterday.  (It's been raining almost constantly for the last week or so)  It came up that I enjoy being here in the city -- but being home in the "country" fits too.  I get asked all the time "When you graduate will you go back to NC?"  Eventually?  Yes, most likely I will.  Straight out of school?  I don't know -- probably not.  But I would love to one day have kids.  I would love for them to have a yard --- a garden ---- a hammock between trees --- grilled food --- and homemade icecream in an old-fashioned icecream maker...  


      It was an odd sensation going home this last time ---- When the plane descended below the clouds over NC --- I was overwhelmed by all of the green.  It was a reminder of one of the many things I love about my part of the country.   Trying to explain to people that I lived in the middle between the beach and mountains and yes--- both are in the same state.  In 2 hours I could be on the Blue Ridge Parkway -- and in 3 hours I could be walking on the beach.  These are the things I miss.  These are the things that will have me back in NC one day.  


      But for now--- I live ---- I learn --- I dream ---- and pray that one day those dreams come true.....